In thinking about what topic to cover with my next blog I have racked my brain trying to think of something worth discussing. I want to make sure when I do an entry it is at least mildly entertaining to those that may read it. I have a topic worth discussing to me but I am not sure how well I can write about it so that you all feel what's in my heart. Here goes...
I will start with a favorite quote of my best friend:
The World is filled with things we do not understand, but if we take the time to listen we can hear voices from heaven. ~Author Unknown
I think about that email that I get every so often that talks about friends for a season, friends for a day and how rare it is that someone is blessed enough to have a friend for life. I was so blessed to meet that person that came into my life in Kindergarten and was like a sister to me for many, many years to come. Her name was Dara Anne Cossey.
Dara was that girl in school that was so smart and creative but painfully shy. I was the girl in school that played sports, didn't care a whole lot about studying and never met a stranger! We could not have been more opposite yet we spent pretty much every waking minute together outside of school. I practically lived at her house in the summers. Her mom would take us to the community pool everyday where we stayed from open to close. She would get so mad at me every summer because with each day at the pool I would get darker and darker yet she continued to get more and more red!
I traveled with her to family functions all the time. She went with us on family vacations in the summer. I have so many wonderful memories of our childhood that I don't know where to start.
Dara turned 16 in November and I was not going to be 16 until the following May. We were both so stinking excited because that meant we had freedom! The day she turned 16 we went to eat at Pizza Hut with her mom and another friend, Jamie Stapleton. Afterwards we couldn't wait to take off in her birthday present. It was an older Ford truck, standard, I might add. She wasn't real good at driving that truck. When we left there we drove every road in Cabot just because we could. We came up to a divided intersection. You had to get on one side of the divider to go left and the other to go right. We were going left but we were on the right side of the divider. I sat there for a moment not saying a word then finally I spoke up and said, "I think you should..." Then she cut me off and said, "Just shut up!" That just gives you a little indication of how sassy she was.
She LOVED being in the vehicle. She would drive and listen to music for hours on end. You would think with all that practice she would have mastered the stick but that was not the case. She was never really good at it! One time she was at the main intersection in Cabot, in that truck, and a man pulled up behind her...a little too close for her comfort. She was spazzing about how little room she had to roll back before taking off when the light turned green. So, being the Dara that I knew and loved, she got out of her truck walked back to the man's car and told him it would be in his best interest to back up so she didn't hit him!
I also remember when we were 16 another life altering event happening with Dara. One day my mom and I were home alone. Dara came over and came right in the front door in a daze and plopped down at the kitchen counter with me. My mom just stopped what she was doing and we were both starring at Dara waiting for what we thought was going to be horrible news. She finally said, "My mom is having a baby!" I just busted out laughing! Then I stopped and I said, "you know what that means, right!?!?" She told me to shut up that she did not even want to think about it!
Once she got over the initial shock she was so excited. She found out soon after that they were having a boy. Her parents let Dara pick out the name. Seth Taylor. She was so in love with her little brother and cherished him so much. Such a sweet bond that the two of them had!
When we were seniors in high school and prom season was upon us there was a group of girls that were going to go stag. I told Dara I wanted her to go with me. This didn't sit well for two reasons: #1) She knew I would not take no for an answer and #2) She was NOT a fan of getting all fixed up and going to a social event. I had to really stay on her about getting her dress etc. I told her that I knew deep down she was excited that I had asked her to go with me and after a few choice words she let me know that was not the case! Anyway, she got a dress and was ready to go. She showed up at my house that night for pictures and low and behold she had gotten in one more act of defiance before we left...she dyed her hair PURPLE! In all our pictures we were both all dressed up, looking cute and her purple hair was just a shining!
Dara was so smart she got a full scholarship to Harding University. She spent about a year there before deciding she didn't like having to be in class every day. She had her cosmetology license but was in a bad car wreck that left her arm severely broken to the point that she was always in so much pain she could not hold it upright to cut hair. So, she went to work at a local business. She was so smart she could do anything she wanted.
Dara, as beautiful as she was, did not see herself that way. She always struggled with her weight. She just struggled to see the beauty in herself that we all saw. She thought long and hard about what she could do and eventually made the decision to have Gastric Bypass surgery. She had the surgery scheduled but didn't want me to be at the hospital. She wanted to do this on her own. I supported her decision to do it but wasn't sure if the timing was right. She called me later that morning and was hysterical. She told me that she backed out of the surgery. She was just too scared. I tried talking to her and telling her that she was beautiful no matter but I know that was not what she wanted to hear. My heart just broke for her.
Several months later I got a phone call out of the blue that Dara had just come out of surgery. I had no idea. She had made up her mind to do the bypass but this time didn't tell anyone in the event that things didn't go as planned. She was so sick after but the weight was just falling off. I saw a light in her eyes that I had never seen before. For the first time since I had known her she started really feeling good about herself.
Shortly after that Dara and I got our first place together. Her parents had a rent house that they let us stay in. It was the cutest little place. We loved having our freedom but being right there in town so our families were still close if we needed them! We had so much fun there together. Had lots of fights too. The good thing about us was that we knew each other well enough to know that we would always move past all of that.
As close as we were we still had lots to learn about each other by living together. I learned that she was a super slob and she learned that I was super OCD! lol I learned that her Patchouli incense she burned gave me migraines. I learned that she loved to drink pickle juice. She learned to cook my favorite meals and did so for me most nights. I learned how she really felt about the guy I was dating at the time and that she didn't mind holding back how she really felt once she had to see him daily! She did me a huge favor on that one. He was not a fan of hers either. He and I had dated for about a year. He finally told me that I had to pick between Dara and him...no choice there. I haven't talked to him since that day. No love lost though...I met Scott about two months later and knew he was the right one because Dara loved him as much and I did...he loved her as well! Kind of to the point it made me sick...every time he did something bone-headed she would defend him. He LOVED that!
We took in a cat when we lived there named Mya. She came from a friend of mine whose husband was mean to the cat. Dara loved to burn candles and was notorious for leaving them burning when she left or went to bed at night. One day we were watching movies in our living room and I kept smelling something burning. I kept asking Dara if she had left a candle burning. She said no. About the third time I had asked her she was getting pretty irritated with me. All of sudden the cat jumped of the coffee table, where a candle was burning, and we realized the more she walked the more hair fell off of her tail. The dang cat had sat on the candle and caught her tail on fire and had no clue! It was so stinkin' hilarious!
We were in that house for a few months when I decided to transfer to UCA to finish up my degree. Dara decided she would find a job in Conway so she could go with me. Off we set on a new adventure. We moved into a duplex and in the other half lived my other dear friend Courtney and her best friend. Dara wasn't too excited about living this close to them at first but they all hit it off and we were one big happy family before long.
We had a lot of fun there for quite awhile. Eventually we began to feel the need to have our own space. Courtney had moved back home and commuted. Dara got her own apartment and I got my own but we both stayed in Conway. We still had at least one night a week that we would get together for dinner and a movie. We always talked daily.
That was around the time that Scott proposed to me. I asked Dara to be my Maid of Honor and she was shocked...not sure why. I could never have imagined anyone else doing it. She had been my best friend at that point for 17+ years!
The wedding came and went without a hitch. Dara was a wonderful Maid of Honor...even though she hated that I made her wear a purple dress. She also hated posing for all the pictures...blah, blah, blah...she did look BEAUTIFUL though.
Shortly after Scott and I got married Dara moved back home to Cabot so that she could go back to school at Harding. Scott and I moved back to Cabot at the first of September of that year. One Monday night Scott and I went to my parents to see them and Dara was there. She had been using their computer for some homework. We talked for a long time and I invited her over that Friday to our new apartment for dinner.
I was super excited to get to spend some time with her. That day when I was at work I got a phone call from a friend. She asked me how Dara was doing...I was confused...I had no idea why this girl would be calling and asking me that. She said that she had gotten an email that had gone out company wide saying to pray for Brady and Lori Cossey's daughter because she had been admitted to the ICU the night before. I was in shock!
I immediately picked up the phone and called Dara's mom, Lori. I asked what was happening. She said that Dara had woken up Tuesday morning not feeling well. She felt bad often since her surgery...just overall in a lot of pain and other issues. She stayed in bed for two days and kept getting worse. Finally Thursday her mom got her to the ER. It was too late...she was in liver failure. Lori said they were trying to get a med flight to a hospital in St. Louis so that they could have a liver transplant.
My stomach just dropped...I could not believe it. I immediately called Scott, left work and called our other friend Courtney. Courtney and I had made plans to fly out first thing Saturday morning to St. Louis so we could be there with her. I never made it on that plane.
I was in the shower getting ready Saturday morning when Scott brought me the phone. He didn't know who it was. It was that dreaded call...Dara had not made it through the night.
I have lost family members in my lifetime. I had just recently lost both of my Grandparents on my dad's side before this but nothing prepares you for losing someone like a sister or someone so young. Being 22 years old the thought had never crossed my mind that when I saw her at my parents a few days before would be the last time I would see her precious face, beautiful smile.
It's so heartbreaking, even now. I think all the time that I will see her walk through a door. I dream about her constantly. For the longest time after she died I would talk to her in my dreams each night. It felt like although she was gone from this world she hadn't fully left me. Now I see her in my dreams but it's always in passing. We don't have long conversations anymore. I do think that she is my guardian angel...there have been way too many times in my life since then that something has happened that made me think she was there with me. Be it something Reid has said, a wind that hit me or a song that she used to sing all the time coming on the radio at the exact moment I was thinking of her. I truly believe I will see her again someday.
I wish, more than anything, that she could have met my kids. Dara loved kids. She would have loved Reid so much and vice verse. I know she will meet him someday. He knows her...we talk about her a lot.
There are so many details to this story that I haven't included just for the sake of time. I picked a few of my favorite stories about her that I thought might make you laugh. I still keep in touch with Dara's family. Her sweet baby brother is now 18. Hard to believe. She would be so proud of how handsome he has turned out. He has that sweet, gentle soul just like she did.
Funny thing happened while I was writing this...her mom sent me a text asking how I was feeling and when would the baby be here. She also asked me what we planned to name our sweet little girl. I told her the first name was set as Aubrey. She responded to that text and told me that Aubrey was the girl name Dara had picked out in case Seth was a girl. No wonder that name stood out so much to me!
Next week, October 6 to be exact, will be 10 years that Dara has been gone. Seems like yesterday. Our friend Courtney and I plan to go to dinner that night and share some sweet memories that we both cherish so much!
Debra :)
