There is a person that has always been a huge part of my life. I never remember a time that she wasn't there. She has been a huge part of my Mom's life even before I was ever thought of!
Her name is Mary Gibbs. She is such a sweet, giving person. She and her husband, Ricky, have been best friends of my parents since they graduated from Cabot High School in the 60's.
When I was two weeks old my brother, then 8, had to have open heart surgery. My Mother wanted to be by David's side so she asked Mary to take care of me while she stayed with David in the hospital. Mary was happy to do so.
Mom always tells the story about how Mary treated me like a baby doll the whole time she had me...brushing my hair costantly. Mom said I was born with a head full of jet black hair and when she went to pick me up from Mary after a week it had all been brushed out! lol!
It wasn't long after I was born that Russell, Mary and Ricky's son, came to join their family. He and I grew up a year apart in school and were always very close. We even had sons a few months apart, Reid and Deagan. They are now big buddies!
I knew that my Mom had told me growing up that Mary had been sick and lost a kidney when she was younger. I never asked why, that was a little over my head. I just knew that it was fairly serious and one day Mary would probably have major health problems as a result of this.
In 2003 I was pregnant with Reid and Crystal, Mary's daughter-in-law, was pregnant with Deagan. Mary's health began to fail. She was undergoing dialysis. Mom told me that her remaining kidney was no longer functioning. There was even a time when I remember talking to my parents and asking if this could be deadly for her. They said yes, that if Mary didn't get a kidney soon she would likely not survive.
I could not fathom this. With all the strides in medicine I just didn't understand how someone that is otherwise healthy could succumb to something like this. I remember seeing Mary a few months before Reid was born and she didn't look well. It hurt my heart to see her that way. That made it so real for me. I went home that day and prayed for her. Asked God to send someone that could donate a kidney for her.
A couple of Mary's neices had taken on the cause to get the word out about Mary's needs. They made family and friends aware of the struggles and urged anyone that matched her blood type to get tested. I asked my Dad about it and he said that serveral of Mary's family members had been tested and were possible matches. Something always came up in their further testing that blocked them from being donors.
I have never been a person to say that God has spoken directly to me. I guess because I had never witnessed that I didn't know if it could really happen. Besides, there was nothing, I felt, that made me special so why would God choose to talk to me about something so major.
One morning when I was getting ready I was praying for Mary. Just having a one on one conversation with God. I asked for an answer quickly because I didn't feel she had much time left. That was when my heart was calmed and God said "it will be you!" I wondered what in the world that meant. This weighed so heavy on my heart. I was about 8 months pregnant...what did that mean.
The more I thought about it the more clear it was. I was the one that was going to give Mary a kidney. Why did I not think of this before...I knew we had the same blood type! That weekend Scott and I were in the car on the way to my parents and he asked what the update was on Mary. I told him she was still waiting on a donor. I also told him that God had told me that I would be the donor. I wish you could have seen the look on his face!
I get that look a lot from Scott...the "you are crazy" look! I didn't think much about it. I am sure he didn't either once the initial shock wore off. He knows how ADD I am and probably assumed I would forget about this as quickly as I had the idea. :)
January came and we had Reid. He was perfectly healthy! Our lives just went on as Mary was anxiously awaiting the arrival of her first grandchild. Deagan made his grand entry in May of that year.
Around that time I contacted the doctor's office that was doing the testing for people interested in donating to Mary. Irronically, his name was Dr. Scott Young! My immediate family were the only ones to know I was being tested. I knew that if Mary got wind of it she would flip her lid! I even asked the nurse that worked my file at the doctor's office to keep quiet until we knew for sure...which I knew we would!
It's amazing the testing you have to go through for all of this. The nurse told me right off the bat that my chances of being a match were very slim. I just told her I understood and please go forward...I knew there was a bigger plan!
Once I was a couple of months into the testing we were getting seriously close to finding out if I was "the one." So, they had to make Mary aware of the situation. Remember when I said I dreaded her knowing I was getting tested because she would flip her lid??? Well, that is an understatment! She was so upset with me.
We talked one day for what seemed like hours on the phone. She tried her best to talk me out of it. I just kept telling her that I could not argue with God's plan. She kept telling me she just couldn't let me do this. I said that this was so far out of our hands...
We eventually had a family meeting. Mary, Ricky and my entire family were there to discuss how everyone felt about it. I already knew the answer to that. We had all talked about it in great length. Everyone was supportive. We all loved Mary and wanted to see her healthy again.
So, with all the arguing behind us we set the date. August 31, 2004 was surgery day. As the day grew closer I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. Only because Reid was 7 months old at the time and I had yet to be away from him overnight and I had never had surgery.
On August 30, 2004 we left Reid with my Mother-in-Law and headed to the hospital. They wanted me to be there the night before since we were getting started so early. It was really emotional leaving Reid. I knew God would take care of us but it's hard leaving your baby for the first time! Scott stayed by my side that night in the hospital. Bless his heart, he is the best husband and friend a girl could ask for.
The next morning I had all sorts of people in and out of my room while we were waiting to go to surgery. We had a whole waiting room full of people too. A lot of it is a big blur. I do remember being in pre-op and Mary was in the room beside me. I remember my Uncle Ken praying for us. I remember my Mom and Dad kissing me and telling me how much they loved me but mostly I will will never forget the look on Scott's face as they wheeled me away. God love him...he was so scared for me.
I don't remember how long the surgery was but I do remember coming out of it and my eye was hurting real bad...the nurse even got on to me for complaining about my eye when I had just had a kidney removed. Turns out I am allergic to surgical tape and when they taped my eyes shut it scratched my cornea somehow...that was the worst part. Only me!
Since they took my left kidney I had 5 tiny incisions. The biggest looks similar to a c-section scar and that is where they actually removed the kidney. I was up walking around the room a few hours after surgery. Getting out of bed for the first time was rough...since they had cut through my ab muscles I had a lot of spasms. The next morning came and I was ready to go. They told me I could go home once I walked up and down the hall. I did just that!
Piece of cake for me...not so much for Mary. She had a long road ahead. Good news was that the doctors said as soon as they placed my kidney in her body and "hooked it up" it started producing urine. Well sure it did...it was God's plan!
Next week will be 7 years since our surgery and Mary is doing amazing! For me there has been no change. I get my levels checked from time to time (at Mary's insistence) and they are perfect. Mary's are right where they need to be as well.
It is amazing how things work out. Here I thought this wonderful lady was my mother's best friend and that was her reason for being such a big part of my life. Little did I know that God had a bigger plan. Through this journey I learned to have faith in God, in something that I can't control, something that is so much bigger than me! I can't say that I have always been the most faithful Christian but this experience brought me so close to God. Mary got a second chance at life with a new kidney and I got to be a part of one of God's many miracles!
Debra ;-)
