In thinking about what topic to cover with my next blog I have racked my brain trying to think of something worth discussing. I want to make sure when I do an entry it is at least mildly entertaining to those that may read it. I have a topic worth discussing to me but I am not sure how well I can write about it so that you all feel what's in my heart. Here goes...
I will start with a favorite quote of my best friend:
The World is filled with things we do not understand, but if we take the time to listen we can hear voices from heaven. ~Author Unknown
I think about that email that I get every so often that talks about friends for a season, friends for a day and how rare it is that someone is blessed enough to have a friend for life. I was so blessed to meet that person that came into my life in Kindergarten and was like a sister to me for many, many years to come. Her name was Dara Anne Cossey.
Dara was that girl in school that was so smart and creative but painfully shy. I was the girl in school that played sports, didn't care a whole lot about studying and never met a stranger! We could not have been more opposite yet we spent pretty much every waking minute together outside of school. I practically lived at her house in the summers. Her mom would take us to the community pool everyday where we stayed from open to close. She would get so mad at me every summer because with each day at the pool I would get darker and darker yet she continued to get more and more red!
I traveled with her to family functions all the time. She went with us on family vacations in the summer. I have so many wonderful memories of our childhood that I don't know where to start.
Dara turned 16 in November and I was not going to be 16 until the following May. We were both so stinking excited because that meant we had freedom! The day she turned 16 we went to eat at Pizza Hut with her mom and another friend, Jamie Stapleton. Afterwards we couldn't wait to take off in her birthday present. It was an older Ford truck, standard, I might add. She wasn't real good at driving that truck. When we left there we drove every road in Cabot just because we could. We came up to a divided intersection. You had to get on one side of the divider to go left and the other to go right. We were going left but we were on the right side of the divider. I sat there for a moment not saying a word then finally I spoke up and said, "I think you should..." Then she cut me off and said, "Just shut up!" That just gives you a little indication of how sassy she was.
She LOVED being in the vehicle. She would drive and listen to music for hours on end. You would think with all that practice she would have mastered the stick but that was not the case. She was never really good at it! One time she was at the main intersection in Cabot, in that truck, and a man pulled up behind her...a little too close for her comfort. She was spazzing about how little room she had to roll back before taking off when the light turned green. So, being the Dara that I knew and loved, she got out of her truck walked back to the man's car and told him it would be in his best interest to back up so she didn't hit him!
I also remember when we were 16 another life altering event happening with Dara. One day my mom and I were home alone. Dara came over and came right in the front door in a daze and plopped down at the kitchen counter with me. My mom just stopped what she was doing and we were both starring at Dara waiting for what we thought was going to be horrible news. She finally said, "My mom is having a baby!" I just busted out laughing! Then I stopped and I said, "you know what that means, right!?!?" She told me to shut up that she did not even want to think about it!
Once she got over the initial shock she was so excited. She found out soon after that they were having a boy. Her parents let Dara pick out the name. Seth Taylor. She was so in love with her little brother and cherished him so much. Such a sweet bond that the two of them had!
When we were seniors in high school and prom season was upon us there was a group of girls that were going to go stag. I told Dara I wanted her to go with me. This didn't sit well for two reasons: #1) She knew I would not take no for an answer and #2) She was NOT a fan of getting all fixed up and going to a social event. I had to really stay on her about getting her dress etc. I told her that I knew deep down she was excited that I had asked her to go with me and after a few choice words she let me know that was not the case! Anyway, she got a dress and was ready to go. She showed up at my house that night for pictures and low and behold she had gotten in one more act of defiance before we left...she dyed her hair PURPLE! In all our pictures we were both all dressed up, looking cute and her purple hair was just a shining!
Dara was so smart she got a full scholarship to Harding University. She spent about a year there before deciding she didn't like having to be in class every day. She had her cosmetology license but was in a bad car wreck that left her arm severely broken to the point that she was always in so much pain she could not hold it upright to cut hair. So, she went to work at a local business. She was so smart she could do anything she wanted.
Dara, as beautiful as she was, did not see herself that way. She always struggled with her weight. She just struggled to see the beauty in herself that we all saw. She thought long and hard about what she could do and eventually made the decision to have Gastric Bypass surgery. She had the surgery scheduled but didn't want me to be at the hospital. She wanted to do this on her own. I supported her decision to do it but wasn't sure if the timing was right. She called me later that morning and was hysterical. She told me that she backed out of the surgery. She was just too scared. I tried talking to her and telling her that she was beautiful no matter but I know that was not what she wanted to hear. My heart just broke for her.
Several months later I got a phone call out of the blue that Dara had just come out of surgery. I had no idea. She had made up her mind to do the bypass but this time didn't tell anyone in the event that things didn't go as planned. She was so sick after but the weight was just falling off. I saw a light in her eyes that I had never seen before. For the first time since I had known her she started really feeling good about herself.
Shortly after that Dara and I got our first place together. Her parents had a rent house that they let us stay in. It was the cutest little place. We loved having our freedom but being right there in town so our families were still close if we needed them! We had so much fun there together. Had lots of fights too. The good thing about us was that we knew each other well enough to know that we would always move past all of that.
As close as we were we still had lots to learn about each other by living together. I learned that she was a super slob and she learned that I was super OCD! lol I learned that her Patchouli incense she burned gave me migraines. I learned that she loved to drink pickle juice. She learned to cook my favorite meals and did so for me most nights. I learned how she really felt about the guy I was dating at the time and that she didn't mind holding back how she really felt once she had to see him daily! She did me a huge favor on that one. He was not a fan of hers either. He and I had dated for about a year. He finally told me that I had to pick between Dara and him...no choice there. I haven't talked to him since that day. No love lost though...I met Scott about two months later and knew he was the right one because Dara loved him as much and I did...he loved her as well! Kind of to the point it made me sick...every time he did something bone-headed she would defend him. He LOVED that!
We took in a cat when we lived there named Mya. She came from a friend of mine whose husband was mean to the cat. Dara loved to burn candles and was notorious for leaving them burning when she left or went to bed at night. One day we were watching movies in our living room and I kept smelling something burning. I kept asking Dara if she had left a candle burning. She said no. About the third time I had asked her she was getting pretty irritated with me. All of sudden the cat jumped of the coffee table, where a candle was burning, and we realized the more she walked the more hair fell off of her tail. The dang cat had sat on the candle and caught her tail on fire and had no clue! It was so stinkin' hilarious!
We were in that house for a few months when I decided to transfer to UCA to finish up my degree. Dara decided she would find a job in Conway so she could go with me. Off we set on a new adventure. We moved into a duplex and in the other half lived my other dear friend Courtney and her best friend. Dara wasn't too excited about living this close to them at first but they all hit it off and we were one big happy family before long.
We had a lot of fun there for quite awhile. Eventually we began to feel the need to have our own space. Courtney had moved back home and commuted. Dara got her own apartment and I got my own but we both stayed in Conway. We still had at least one night a week that we would get together for dinner and a movie. We always talked daily.
That was around the time that Scott proposed to me. I asked Dara to be my Maid of Honor and she was shocked...not sure why. I could never have imagined anyone else doing it. She had been my best friend at that point for 17+ years!
The wedding came and went without a hitch. Dara was a wonderful Maid of Honor...even though she hated that I made her wear a purple dress. She also hated posing for all the pictures...blah, blah, blah...she did look BEAUTIFUL though.
Shortly after Scott and I got married Dara moved back home to Cabot so that she could go back to school at Harding. Scott and I moved back to Cabot at the first of September of that year. One Monday night Scott and I went to my parents to see them and Dara was there. She had been using their computer for some homework. We talked for a long time and I invited her over that Friday to our new apartment for dinner.
I was super excited to get to spend some time with her. That day when I was at work I got a phone call from a friend. She asked me how Dara was doing...I was confused...I had no idea why this girl would be calling and asking me that. She said that she had gotten an email that had gone out company wide saying to pray for Brady and Lori Cossey's daughter because she had been admitted to the ICU the night before. I was in shock!
I immediately picked up the phone and called Dara's mom, Lori. I asked what was happening. She said that Dara had woken up Tuesday morning not feeling well. She felt bad often since her surgery...just overall in a lot of pain and other issues. She stayed in bed for two days and kept getting worse. Finally Thursday her mom got her to the ER. It was too late...she was in liver failure. Lori said they were trying to get a med flight to a hospital in St. Louis so that they could have a liver transplant.
My stomach just dropped...I could not believe it. I immediately called Scott, left work and called our other friend Courtney. Courtney and I had made plans to fly out first thing Saturday morning to St. Louis so we could be there with her. I never made it on that plane.
I was in the shower getting ready Saturday morning when Scott brought me the phone. He didn't know who it was. It was that dreaded call...Dara had not made it through the night.
I have lost family members in my lifetime. I had just recently lost both of my Grandparents on my dad's side before this but nothing prepares you for losing someone like a sister or someone so young. Being 22 years old the thought had never crossed my mind that when I saw her at my parents a few days before would be the last time I would see her precious face, beautiful smile.
It's so heartbreaking, even now. I think all the time that I will see her walk through a door. I dream about her constantly. For the longest time after she died I would talk to her in my dreams each night. It felt like although she was gone from this world she hadn't fully left me. Now I see her in my dreams but it's always in passing. We don't have long conversations anymore. I do think that she is my guardian angel...there have been way too many times in my life since then that something has happened that made me think she was there with me. Be it something Reid has said, a wind that hit me or a song that she used to sing all the time coming on the radio at the exact moment I was thinking of her. I truly believe I will see her again someday.
I wish, more than anything, that she could have met my kids. Dara loved kids. She would have loved Reid so much and vice verse. I know she will meet him someday. He knows her...we talk about her a lot.
There are so many details to this story that I haven't included just for the sake of time. I picked a few of my favorite stories about her that I thought might make you laugh. I still keep in touch with Dara's family. Her sweet baby brother is now 18. Hard to believe. She would be so proud of how handsome he has turned out. He has that sweet, gentle soul just like she did.
Funny thing happened while I was writing this...her mom sent me a text asking how I was feeling and when would the baby be here. She also asked me what we planned to name our sweet little girl. I told her the first name was set as Aubrey. She responded to that text and told me that Aubrey was the girl name Dara had picked out in case Seth was a girl. No wonder that name stood out so much to me!
Next week, October 6 to be exact, will be 10 years that Dara has been gone. Seems like yesterday. Our friend Courtney and I plan to go to dinner that night and share some sweet memories that we both cherish so much!
Debra :)
Friday, September 30, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Ohh, Ohh Pick Me, Pick Me!!
There is a person that has always been a huge part of my life. I never remember a time that she wasn't there. She has been a huge part of my Mom's life even before I was ever thought of!
Her name is Mary Gibbs. She is such a sweet, giving person. She and her husband, Ricky, have been best friends of my parents since they graduated from Cabot High School in the 60's.
When I was two weeks old my brother, then 8, had to have open heart surgery. My Mother wanted to be by David's side so she asked Mary to take care of me while she stayed with David in the hospital. Mary was happy to do so.
Mom always tells the story about how Mary treated me like a baby doll the whole time she had me...brushing my hair costantly. Mom said I was born with a head full of jet black hair and when she went to pick me up from Mary after a week it had all been brushed out! lol!
It wasn't long after I was born that Russell, Mary and Ricky's son, came to join their family. He and I grew up a year apart in school and were always very close. We even had sons a few months apart, Reid and Deagan. They are now big buddies!
I knew that my Mom had told me growing up that Mary had been sick and lost a kidney when she was younger. I never asked why, that was a little over my head. I just knew that it was fairly serious and one day Mary would probably have major health problems as a result of this.
In 2003 I was pregnant with Reid and Crystal, Mary's daughter-in-law, was pregnant with Deagan. Mary's health began to fail. She was undergoing dialysis. Mom told me that her remaining kidney was no longer functioning. There was even a time when I remember talking to my parents and asking if this could be deadly for her. They said yes, that if Mary didn't get a kidney soon she would likely not survive.
I could not fathom this. With all the strides in medicine I just didn't understand how someone that is otherwise healthy could succumb to something like this. I remember seeing Mary a few months before Reid was born and she didn't look well. It hurt my heart to see her that way. That made it so real for me. I went home that day and prayed for her. Asked God to send someone that could donate a kidney for her.
A couple of Mary's neices had taken on the cause to get the word out about Mary's needs. They made family and friends aware of the struggles and urged anyone that matched her blood type to get tested. I asked my Dad about it and he said that serveral of Mary's family members had been tested and were possible matches. Something always came up in their further testing that blocked them from being donors.
I have never been a person to say that God has spoken directly to me. I guess because I had never witnessed that I didn't know if it could really happen. Besides, there was nothing, I felt, that made me special so why would God choose to talk to me about something so major.
One morning when I was getting ready I was praying for Mary. Just having a one on one conversation with God. I asked for an answer quickly because I didn't feel she had much time left. That was when my heart was calmed and God said "it will be you!" I wondered what in the world that meant. This weighed so heavy on my heart. I was about 8 months pregnant...what did that mean.
The more I thought about it the more clear it was. I was the one that was going to give Mary a kidney. Why did I not think of this before...I knew we had the same blood type! That weekend Scott and I were in the car on the way to my parents and he asked what the update was on Mary. I told him she was still waiting on a donor. I also told him that God had told me that I would be the donor. I wish you could have seen the look on his face!
I get that look a lot from Scott...the "you are crazy" look! I didn't think much about it. I am sure he didn't either once the initial shock wore off. He knows how ADD I am and probably assumed I would forget about this as quickly as I had the idea. :)
January came and we had Reid. He was perfectly healthy! Our lives just went on as Mary was anxiously awaiting the arrival of her first grandchild. Deagan made his grand entry in May of that year.
Around that time I contacted the doctor's office that was doing the testing for people interested in donating to Mary. Irronically, his name was Dr. Scott Young! My immediate family were the only ones to know I was being tested. I knew that if Mary got wind of it she would flip her lid! I even asked the nurse that worked my file at the doctor's office to keep quiet until we knew for sure...which I knew we would!
It's amazing the testing you have to go through for all of this. The nurse told me right off the bat that my chances of being a match were very slim. I just told her I understood and please go forward...I knew there was a bigger plan!
Once I was a couple of months into the testing we were getting seriously close to finding out if I was "the one." So, they had to make Mary aware of the situation. Remember when I said I dreaded her knowing I was getting tested because she would flip her lid??? Well, that is an understatment! She was so upset with me.
We talked one day for what seemed like hours on the phone. She tried her best to talk me out of it. I just kept telling her that I could not argue with God's plan. She kept telling me she just couldn't let me do this. I said that this was so far out of our hands...
We eventually had a family meeting. Mary, Ricky and my entire family were there to discuss how everyone felt about it. I already knew the answer to that. We had all talked about it in great length. Everyone was supportive. We all loved Mary and wanted to see her healthy again.
So, with all the arguing behind us we set the date. August 31, 2004 was surgery day. As the day grew closer I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. Only because Reid was 7 months old at the time and I had yet to be away from him overnight and I had never had surgery.
On August 30, 2004 we left Reid with my Mother-in-Law and headed to the hospital. They wanted me to be there the night before since we were getting started so early. It was really emotional leaving Reid. I knew God would take care of us but it's hard leaving your baby for the first time! Scott stayed by my side that night in the hospital. Bless his heart, he is the best husband and friend a girl could ask for.
The next morning I had all sorts of people in and out of my room while we were waiting to go to surgery. We had a whole waiting room full of people too. A lot of it is a big blur. I do remember being in pre-op and Mary was in the room beside me. I remember my Uncle Ken praying for us. I remember my Mom and Dad kissing me and telling me how much they loved me but mostly I will will never forget the look on Scott's face as they wheeled me away. God love him...he was so scared for me.
I don't remember how long the surgery was but I do remember coming out of it and my eye was hurting real bad...the nurse even got on to me for complaining about my eye when I had just had a kidney removed. Turns out I am allergic to surgical tape and when they taped my eyes shut it scratched my cornea somehow...that was the worst part. Only me!
Since they took my left kidney I had 5 tiny incisions. The biggest looks similar to a c-section scar and that is where they actually removed the kidney. I was up walking around the room a few hours after surgery. Getting out of bed for the first time was rough...since they had cut through my ab muscles I had a lot of spasms. The next morning came and I was ready to go. They told me I could go home once I walked up and down the hall. I did just that!
Piece of cake for me...not so much for Mary. She had a long road ahead. Good news was that the doctors said as soon as they placed my kidney in her body and "hooked it up" it started producing urine. Well sure it did...it was God's plan!
Next week will be 7 years since our surgery and Mary is doing amazing! For me there has been no change. I get my levels checked from time to time (at Mary's insistence) and they are perfect. Mary's are right where they need to be as well.
It is amazing how things work out. Here I thought this wonderful lady was my mother's best friend and that was her reason for being such a big part of my life. Little did I know that God had a bigger plan. Through this journey I learned to have faith in God, in something that I can't control, something that is so much bigger than me! I can't say that I have always been the most faithful Christian but this experience brought me so close to God. Mary got a second chance at life with a new kidney and I got to be a part of one of God's many miracles!
Debra ;-)
Her name is Mary Gibbs. She is such a sweet, giving person. She and her husband, Ricky, have been best friends of my parents since they graduated from Cabot High School in the 60's.
When I was two weeks old my brother, then 8, had to have open heart surgery. My Mother wanted to be by David's side so she asked Mary to take care of me while she stayed with David in the hospital. Mary was happy to do so.
Mom always tells the story about how Mary treated me like a baby doll the whole time she had me...brushing my hair costantly. Mom said I was born with a head full of jet black hair and when she went to pick me up from Mary after a week it had all been brushed out! lol!
It wasn't long after I was born that Russell, Mary and Ricky's son, came to join their family. He and I grew up a year apart in school and were always very close. We even had sons a few months apart, Reid and Deagan. They are now big buddies!
I knew that my Mom had told me growing up that Mary had been sick and lost a kidney when she was younger. I never asked why, that was a little over my head. I just knew that it was fairly serious and one day Mary would probably have major health problems as a result of this.
In 2003 I was pregnant with Reid and Crystal, Mary's daughter-in-law, was pregnant with Deagan. Mary's health began to fail. She was undergoing dialysis. Mom told me that her remaining kidney was no longer functioning. There was even a time when I remember talking to my parents and asking if this could be deadly for her. They said yes, that if Mary didn't get a kidney soon she would likely not survive.
I could not fathom this. With all the strides in medicine I just didn't understand how someone that is otherwise healthy could succumb to something like this. I remember seeing Mary a few months before Reid was born and she didn't look well. It hurt my heart to see her that way. That made it so real for me. I went home that day and prayed for her. Asked God to send someone that could donate a kidney for her.
A couple of Mary's neices had taken on the cause to get the word out about Mary's needs. They made family and friends aware of the struggles and urged anyone that matched her blood type to get tested. I asked my Dad about it and he said that serveral of Mary's family members had been tested and were possible matches. Something always came up in their further testing that blocked them from being donors.
I have never been a person to say that God has spoken directly to me. I guess because I had never witnessed that I didn't know if it could really happen. Besides, there was nothing, I felt, that made me special so why would God choose to talk to me about something so major.
One morning when I was getting ready I was praying for Mary. Just having a one on one conversation with God. I asked for an answer quickly because I didn't feel she had much time left. That was when my heart was calmed and God said "it will be you!" I wondered what in the world that meant. This weighed so heavy on my heart. I was about 8 months pregnant...what did that mean.
The more I thought about it the more clear it was. I was the one that was going to give Mary a kidney. Why did I not think of this before...I knew we had the same blood type! That weekend Scott and I were in the car on the way to my parents and he asked what the update was on Mary. I told him she was still waiting on a donor. I also told him that God had told me that I would be the donor. I wish you could have seen the look on his face!
I get that look a lot from Scott...the "you are crazy" look! I didn't think much about it. I am sure he didn't either once the initial shock wore off. He knows how ADD I am and probably assumed I would forget about this as quickly as I had the idea. :)
January came and we had Reid. He was perfectly healthy! Our lives just went on as Mary was anxiously awaiting the arrival of her first grandchild. Deagan made his grand entry in May of that year.
Around that time I contacted the doctor's office that was doing the testing for people interested in donating to Mary. Irronically, his name was Dr. Scott Young! My immediate family were the only ones to know I was being tested. I knew that if Mary got wind of it she would flip her lid! I even asked the nurse that worked my file at the doctor's office to keep quiet until we knew for sure...which I knew we would!
It's amazing the testing you have to go through for all of this. The nurse told me right off the bat that my chances of being a match were very slim. I just told her I understood and please go forward...I knew there was a bigger plan!
Once I was a couple of months into the testing we were getting seriously close to finding out if I was "the one." So, they had to make Mary aware of the situation. Remember when I said I dreaded her knowing I was getting tested because she would flip her lid??? Well, that is an understatment! She was so upset with me.
We talked one day for what seemed like hours on the phone. She tried her best to talk me out of it. I just kept telling her that I could not argue with God's plan. She kept telling me she just couldn't let me do this. I said that this was so far out of our hands...
We eventually had a family meeting. Mary, Ricky and my entire family were there to discuss how everyone felt about it. I already knew the answer to that. We had all talked about it in great length. Everyone was supportive. We all loved Mary and wanted to see her healthy again.
So, with all the arguing behind us we set the date. August 31, 2004 was surgery day. As the day grew closer I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. Only because Reid was 7 months old at the time and I had yet to be away from him overnight and I had never had surgery.
On August 30, 2004 we left Reid with my Mother-in-Law and headed to the hospital. They wanted me to be there the night before since we were getting started so early. It was really emotional leaving Reid. I knew God would take care of us but it's hard leaving your baby for the first time! Scott stayed by my side that night in the hospital. Bless his heart, he is the best husband and friend a girl could ask for.
The next morning I had all sorts of people in and out of my room while we were waiting to go to surgery. We had a whole waiting room full of people too. A lot of it is a big blur. I do remember being in pre-op and Mary was in the room beside me. I remember my Uncle Ken praying for us. I remember my Mom and Dad kissing me and telling me how much they loved me but mostly I will will never forget the look on Scott's face as they wheeled me away. God love him...he was so scared for me.
I don't remember how long the surgery was but I do remember coming out of it and my eye was hurting real bad...the nurse even got on to me for complaining about my eye when I had just had a kidney removed. Turns out I am allergic to surgical tape and when they taped my eyes shut it scratched my cornea somehow...that was the worst part. Only me!
Since they took my left kidney I had 5 tiny incisions. The biggest looks similar to a c-section scar and that is where they actually removed the kidney. I was up walking around the room a few hours after surgery. Getting out of bed for the first time was rough...since they had cut through my ab muscles I had a lot of spasms. The next morning came and I was ready to go. They told me I could go home once I walked up and down the hall. I did just that!
Piece of cake for me...not so much for Mary. She had a long road ahead. Good news was that the doctors said as soon as they placed my kidney in her body and "hooked it up" it started producing urine. Well sure it did...it was God's plan!
Next week will be 7 years since our surgery and Mary is doing amazing! For me there has been no change. I get my levels checked from time to time (at Mary's insistence) and they are perfect. Mary's are right where they need to be as well.
It is amazing how things work out. Here I thought this wonderful lady was my mother's best friend and that was her reason for being such a big part of my life. Little did I know that God had a bigger plan. Through this journey I learned to have faith in God, in something that I can't control, something that is so much bigger than me! I can't say that I have always been the most faithful Christian but this experience brought me so close to God. Mary got a second chance at life with a new kidney and I got to be a part of one of God's many miracles!
Debra ;-)
Friday, July 22, 2011
God Is Good, God Is Great, Let Us Thank Him For Our...
All I can say is that I am a firm believer that miracles happen everyday. I have had more blessings from the good Lord than I deserve for sure...
When Scott and I had been married about a year or so we decided we wanted to start a family. We got pregnant right off the bat. We got so excited that we started telling everyone immediately. A week and a half later we miscarried. It was crushing. There was no explanation aside from it happens often.
With heavy hearts we picked up and moved on. We decided to wait a few months before trying again. Eight months later we were ready. It happened super fast again. This time we went to the doctor and saw what looked like a rotisserie chicken! That little chicken developed in to a precious baby boy.
When I was 24 weeks pregnant I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner when I started to feel funny. I went to the bathroom and discovered I was losing a lot of blood. We were with my brother and his wife. They drove us to the hospital in Conway. I was so terrified! Words cannot describe how scared I was at the thought of losing this sweet baby that I had felt move inside of me so many times.
The first thing they did when we got to the hospital was hook me up to the fetal monitor. All I heard was this big strong heartbeat and hiccups! It made my heart melt. The entire night I laid in that hospital bed with Scott right by my side listening to that tiny little hiccup every few seconds. It was amazing!
When I got to the hospital that night they checked me and I was dilated to a one and 50% effaced. Super scary times. The placenta that was feeding Reid was trying to seperate from my body so it was throwing me into labor. They put me on iv meds and were able to stop the labor progress. I went home with an order for a weeks worth of bedrest. Yippee! I did enjoy spending that week on my couch (except for the 15 pounds I gained)!
In January of 2004 we had Reid. He was such a huge blessing from the get-go. Always had such a gentle soul. He brought more love and joy to our lives than we ever thought we could feel.
When Reid was about 3 years old we decided we were ready to expand our family. We got preggers on the first try. We lost this one at 11 weeks. So heartbreaking. I asked the doctor why and he said these things just happen.
We tried for two years before we got pregnant again. Reid's first week of Kindergarten was when we found out we had been successful. We were so excited! Then a week later we lost it. Again, we were devastated. Reid was old enough to understand too and he had been so excited. It's an awful feeling to have your child be disappointed by something that we have no control over. (I am sure that is the first of many for him but as his mother I wish I could protect him from all of that!)
Since this was our third miscarriage the doctor sent us to some fertility specialists. Scott and I both went through so many tests to no avail. They could not tell us why we couldn't maintain a pregnancy. They did have us try a round of fertility drugs to see if that would help. I was terrified we were going to have 5 or 6!
A dear friend had told me about a man in Rose Bud known as the "Witch Doctor." She said he just knew things about your body and how to heal you. I thought it couldn't hurt so I went to see him. Scott didn't want to go because he thought it was crazy. My mother went with me for moral support!
I sat down in front of this guy and told him my name and that my husband and I had some trouble having a baby and what could he tell me. First of all he prayed about/for me. Then he told me that God spoke to him about me. He said that there is a baby in Heaven that is waiting to join our family. He said it's the same baby we have lost several times. He said that baby just hasn't been ready to join our world yet but that it would happen. The last thing he told me was that he saw twins in my future. I left there feeling like he might be a little off his rocker!
Months went by with nothing happening. Scott wanted to try again but I just didn't have it in me. I felt like my heart would never heal. All I could focus on was the what if's...it was a sad place to be. Eventually we started talking about adoption. We talked to several agencies. We had a meeting with a local Christian adoption agency that we had decided we wanted to use. We were ready to move forward...just had to come up with some money. We decided to go home and pray about it.
Well, two weeks later God provided his answer. We found out we were pregnant. I called the doctor immediately and he put me on hormones. We went in at 7 weeks for our first appointment. Our hearts were racing when he brought that ultrasound image up on the screen. Then our hearts stopped when we noticed two heartbeats! Crazy how things happened. It was, in fact, twins. The doctor decided, given my history, that he wanted to see me every two weeks at least for my first trimester.
We were so excited! A little stunned that it seemed the "Witch Doctor" was correct. We went back at 9 weeks for our second check up and found only one heartbeat. One of the babies had died in that two week period. The other baby was very strong though. I left there with mixed feelings. On one hand I was heartbroken all over again because we had lost another baby. Then I was overjoyed we still had one strong one left. Then I started to feel guilty for being thankful we had two in the event we did lose one. The more I prayed about it the more God eased my heart. Afterall, he had a plan.
Our doctor sent us to UAMS for some 4D ultrasounds at about 19 weeks because some blood work had come back showing a chance the baby could have Spina Bifida. My nerves were shot at this point. It seemed like things just could not go smoothly. We went to the ultrasound and found out it was another sweet baby boy! We also found out he did not have Spina Bifida. Prayers answered!
The doctor there did find some cysts in the babies brain that he was a little alarmed about. He wanted to see us back at 29 weeks to ensure the cysts were gone. When we returned the cysts we completely gone. We were so thankful for these great miracles!
Ryan made his grand entrance to this world in November 2010. He is the happiest child I have ever known. Smiles all the time. I like to think he gets it from me since Reid seems to have gotten absolutely nothing from me! ;-) We loved this baby so very much.
So, after much debate back and forth...I wanted a third and Scott did not. Scott decided to schedule his vasectomy. They originally scheduled it for April 1, 2011. Scott, after much deep thought, came to the conclusion that it might not be smart to test that type of procedure on April Fools Day. Ha! He called and rescheduled the appointment for mid April.
I took off that day to take care of my ailing husband...even though I wasn't totally thrilled with doing this I knew it was for the best. We were content with our family as it was. So, two weeks after Scott's "procedure" I realized I was a week late. I didn't think much of it because things still weren't normal after having Ryan. Goodness knows he was only 4 months old, right!?!? Plus, Scott kept saying it wasn't possible...look at how long it took us to get Ryan!
I decided to take a test just to ease my mind. That test immediately popped up with two lines. HOLY MOLY! I thought I was going to pass out. I walked out of the bathroom, all pale faced, and showed Scott the test. He too lost all color in his face. I just kept pacing and asking him what he was thinking. His response, after about 4-5 minutes of total silence, was "we are going to be tired and broke!"
I called the doctor and got put on hormones again. We have been to three appointments now. I am 17 weeks and things seem to be going really well. We are due on January 1. Still not sure what we are having....find that out on August 11. I am betting it will be another boy!
All that said, my point is that everything happens for a reason. We cried a lot of tears but in the end we have been blessed beyond out wildest means. Goodness knows this is more than we deserve. A third child might not have been in our plan but it sure was in God's plan! I wouldn't change any of this for the world.
Debra :-)
When Scott and I had been married about a year or so we decided we wanted to start a family. We got pregnant right off the bat. We got so excited that we started telling everyone immediately. A week and a half later we miscarried. It was crushing. There was no explanation aside from it happens often.
With heavy hearts we picked up and moved on. We decided to wait a few months before trying again. Eight months later we were ready. It happened super fast again. This time we went to the doctor and saw what looked like a rotisserie chicken! That little chicken developed in to a precious baby boy.
When I was 24 weeks pregnant I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner when I started to feel funny. I went to the bathroom and discovered I was losing a lot of blood. We were with my brother and his wife. They drove us to the hospital in Conway. I was so terrified! Words cannot describe how scared I was at the thought of losing this sweet baby that I had felt move inside of me so many times.
The first thing they did when we got to the hospital was hook me up to the fetal monitor. All I heard was this big strong heartbeat and hiccups! It made my heart melt. The entire night I laid in that hospital bed with Scott right by my side listening to that tiny little hiccup every few seconds. It was amazing!
When I got to the hospital that night they checked me and I was dilated to a one and 50% effaced. Super scary times. The placenta that was feeding Reid was trying to seperate from my body so it was throwing me into labor. They put me on iv meds and were able to stop the labor progress. I went home with an order for a weeks worth of bedrest. Yippee! I did enjoy spending that week on my couch (except for the 15 pounds I gained)!
In January of 2004 we had Reid. He was such a huge blessing from the get-go. Always had such a gentle soul. He brought more love and joy to our lives than we ever thought we could feel.
When Reid was about 3 years old we decided we were ready to expand our family. We got preggers on the first try. We lost this one at 11 weeks. So heartbreaking. I asked the doctor why and he said these things just happen.
We tried for two years before we got pregnant again. Reid's first week of Kindergarten was when we found out we had been successful. We were so excited! Then a week later we lost it. Again, we were devastated. Reid was old enough to understand too and he had been so excited. It's an awful feeling to have your child be disappointed by something that we have no control over. (I am sure that is the first of many for him but as his mother I wish I could protect him from all of that!)
Since this was our third miscarriage the doctor sent us to some fertility specialists. Scott and I both went through so many tests to no avail. They could not tell us why we couldn't maintain a pregnancy. They did have us try a round of fertility drugs to see if that would help. I was terrified we were going to have 5 or 6!
A dear friend had told me about a man in Rose Bud known as the "Witch Doctor." She said he just knew things about your body and how to heal you. I thought it couldn't hurt so I went to see him. Scott didn't want to go because he thought it was crazy. My mother went with me for moral support!
I sat down in front of this guy and told him my name and that my husband and I had some trouble having a baby and what could he tell me. First of all he prayed about/for me. Then he told me that God spoke to him about me. He said that there is a baby in Heaven that is waiting to join our family. He said it's the same baby we have lost several times. He said that baby just hasn't been ready to join our world yet but that it would happen. The last thing he told me was that he saw twins in my future. I left there feeling like he might be a little off his rocker!
Months went by with nothing happening. Scott wanted to try again but I just didn't have it in me. I felt like my heart would never heal. All I could focus on was the what if's...it was a sad place to be. Eventually we started talking about adoption. We talked to several agencies. We had a meeting with a local Christian adoption agency that we had decided we wanted to use. We were ready to move forward...just had to come up with some money. We decided to go home and pray about it.
Well, two weeks later God provided his answer. We found out we were pregnant. I called the doctor immediately and he put me on hormones. We went in at 7 weeks for our first appointment. Our hearts were racing when he brought that ultrasound image up on the screen. Then our hearts stopped when we noticed two heartbeats! Crazy how things happened. It was, in fact, twins. The doctor decided, given my history, that he wanted to see me every two weeks at least for my first trimester.
We were so excited! A little stunned that it seemed the "Witch Doctor" was correct. We went back at 9 weeks for our second check up and found only one heartbeat. One of the babies had died in that two week period. The other baby was very strong though. I left there with mixed feelings. On one hand I was heartbroken all over again because we had lost another baby. Then I was overjoyed we still had one strong one left. Then I started to feel guilty for being thankful we had two in the event we did lose one. The more I prayed about it the more God eased my heart. Afterall, he had a plan.
Our doctor sent us to UAMS for some 4D ultrasounds at about 19 weeks because some blood work had come back showing a chance the baby could have Spina Bifida. My nerves were shot at this point. It seemed like things just could not go smoothly. We went to the ultrasound and found out it was another sweet baby boy! We also found out he did not have Spina Bifida. Prayers answered!
The doctor there did find some cysts in the babies brain that he was a little alarmed about. He wanted to see us back at 29 weeks to ensure the cysts were gone. When we returned the cysts we completely gone. We were so thankful for these great miracles!
Ryan made his grand entrance to this world in November 2010. He is the happiest child I have ever known. Smiles all the time. I like to think he gets it from me since Reid seems to have gotten absolutely nothing from me! ;-) We loved this baby so very much.
So, after much debate back and forth...I wanted a third and Scott did not. Scott decided to schedule his vasectomy. They originally scheduled it for April 1, 2011. Scott, after much deep thought, came to the conclusion that it might not be smart to test that type of procedure on April Fools Day. Ha! He called and rescheduled the appointment for mid April.
I took off that day to take care of my ailing husband...even though I wasn't totally thrilled with doing this I knew it was for the best. We were content with our family as it was. So, two weeks after Scott's "procedure" I realized I was a week late. I didn't think much of it because things still weren't normal after having Ryan. Goodness knows he was only 4 months old, right!?!? Plus, Scott kept saying it wasn't possible...look at how long it took us to get Ryan!
I decided to take a test just to ease my mind. That test immediately popped up with two lines. HOLY MOLY! I thought I was going to pass out. I walked out of the bathroom, all pale faced, and showed Scott the test. He too lost all color in his face. I just kept pacing and asking him what he was thinking. His response, after about 4-5 minutes of total silence, was "we are going to be tired and broke!"
I called the doctor and got put on hormones again. We have been to three appointments now. I am 17 weeks and things seem to be going really well. We are due on January 1. Still not sure what we are having....find that out on August 11. I am betting it will be another boy!
All that said, my point is that everything happens for a reason. We cried a lot of tears but in the end we have been blessed beyond out wildest means. Goodness knows this is more than we deserve. A third child might not have been in our plan but it sure was in God's plan! I wouldn't change any of this for the world.
Debra :-)
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